No Magic Needed
by Ne Gok Sa
Summary: Not so much a "Fan-fiction" as a full re-telling of the story we all no and love. Set in a futurisic society, this story covers the same ground as the original series, with one difference: there is no magic here, nor ghosts or spirits or demons.
1. Prologue

**As usual, I do not ow Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the associated characters. The contents of this story are simply the work of a dedicated fan, and I would never wish to infringe on the rights of the rightful owners of the show. So please don't sue me.**

**Thanks, as always, to EminaKotek-nightmare and KitsunexShi for their continued love and support. Where would I be without you? 3  
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><p><em>Live from Studio Torukonay, this is Across the Nation, your Channel Seven news provider!<em>

_ Hello, and welcome to Across the Nation here on Channel Seven. I'm your host, Jorge Stevenson._

_Our top story: government officials announced today that the Tokogawa Industrial Park and its surrounding plot have officially been ceded to Kurama® Biotechnology Systems, Inc. This much-anticipated decision was finally made on Thursday at five-thirty p.m. as King Enma's seal of approval finally graced the resolution. Months of discussion and debate have surrounded this event, which marks the first time in history that a commercial enterprise has been granted full sovereign control over national territory, and many people are wondering: why factors led to this decision? What are the benefits to both the company and the nation as a whole? And most importantly, what methods are in place to ensure that Kurama® will not simply abandon its newfound citizens in favor of higher profit margins? Prince Koenma met with reporters shortly after the announcement to address these questions:_

"_As King Enma's chief representative, I am here to assure you that this decision came as a result of long hours of deliberation. Every detail of the proposal was considered, and every aspect of the agreement has been, and It is our firm belief that this cession will come as a benefit not just to Kurama®, but to every citizen of Hakusho. Kurama®'s abundant success in the business community has given us reason to believe that they can firmly stand on their own as an independent and sovereign power, and their demonstration of open policy and history of customer satisfaction leaves us with no doubt that they will be able to meet the needs of their citizens._

_Do not think, however, that we simply handing this territory over without and terms or conditions of our own. As a separate and equal nation, Kurama® will be expected to uphold the same standards of protection and public service that we have come to expect within our own borders. It must treat its citizens fairly and decently, holding public safety and domestic order at a higher priority than its business interactions or profit margins. And while we seek to treat Kurama® as a friend on equal terms, do not think that will turn a blind eye towards even the slightest injustice within their borders. Any mistreatment of its citizens, any corrupt action or unlawful bargain that is made will be noted. Terrorism, brutality, and dictatorship will not be tolerated under any circumstances, and it is clearly outlined within the treaty that, should we feel at any point that the offices of Kurama® are failing to fully support the health and well-being of their citizens, immediate action will be taken. Kurama® can expect swift and sudden retribution for any injustice committed within its borders that it refuses to acknowledge, and we advise that they do not take liberties with the terms defined by the treaty. _

_It is hoped, of course, that by observing one another's practices of bureaucracy and domestic affairs that we can both grow together, learning from each other about how best to serve our people. For those of you who will soon become proud citizens of Kurama®, we ask that you please give them your full loyalty and respect. This transition can only go smoothly if we all work together to make it happen. Rest assured that the treaty allows us to keep full eye on your condition and treatment under your new administration, and at the first sign of discontent, we will be on the scene in full force, ready to stand against any threat to your safety and livelihood. The city of Hakusho will never forget your contributions, nor will we abandon you in a time of need."_

_Prince Koenma went on to say that the proposal came with the full support of the city council. Elsewhere, however, District Ruler Yomi was heard to say that, while he supported the plan in principle, he felt that the terms of the treaty are still too light, allowing Kurama® too much immediate administrative freedom. According to Yomi, whose district saw a significant loss of territory in the cession, the whole process seems to have been rushed a bit, making the city seem more than a little desperate to close the deal, and this, he says, is causing him to question the integrity of both sides. _

_District Ruler Raizen expressed similar concerns as well, speaking at a demonstration near the new border of Kurama®'s territory. Raizen, who also lost a significant section of his district to the deal, stated frankly that he had never once been consulted on this issue, and yet was expected to simply hand over almost a third of his district to this, quote, "Smarmy little [expletive]" without any sort of compensation, and in full knowledge of the district's inner turmoil, as well as the ongoing territorial dispute with District Ruler Mukuro. Raizen talked openly of rebellion at the rally, claiming blatant prejudice against himself, his district, and his people, and demanded and the immediate return of his district's ceded land. If Kurama® and the city of Hakusho refuse, he says, he will give the order for all those loyal to him and to the district to rise against them both, accelerating the violence they are seeking to circumvent. The actual force of those loyal to Raizen is a mystery, but his confidence in their potential is obviously quite strong._

_President and Chief Financier of Kurama® Biotechnology, Suiichi Minamino, had this to say on the subject:_

"_I am both honored and deeply humbled at the acceptance of my proposal by his Highness, King Enma, and the city of Hakusho. When I first founded Kurama® just a few short years ago, I could never have dreamed that it would grow to such proportions, nor that we would push into economic territory that no business in history has ever explored. With this treaty, we break new ground, setting new standards and developing new and unique ideas. This is truly a historic day._

_I understand the stiffness of the terms the treaty demands, and I am of course grateful for the freedoms that it does allow us, but I am also not deaf to the concerns surrounding this event. To our new citizens, on both sides of the Wall, and to the great city of Hakusho, I offer you my personal vow that I will always place the safety and well being of the people above petty business concerns or potential revenue markets. I understand the position I have accepted: I am more than simply a manager of a firm now, I must become a leader of men. And I will strive to fulfill this role to the best of my capability._

_To my neighboring District Rulers, Yomi and Raizen, I must offer my sincerest apologies for any disrespect that you may have received during this transaction. I understand that our new borders fall somewhat behind where they once were, and I am certain that many of Kurama®'s newest citizens doubtlessly share your concerns. I have already dispatched emissaries to meet with each of you in the hopes that we might resolve these issues peacefully. I ask you to please receive them as agents of peace, and I'm sure that we can all come to an arrangement that benefits all three of us, strengthening us and allying us against the troubles we face together."_

_A poll amongst Kurama®'s new citizens indicates a general approval of Suiichi Minamino as a political figurehead as well as a business executive, and expectations are high regarding the success of the fledgling city._

_In contrast to this historic event, however, confidence in the city's police force and public safety officials seems to be hitting record lows. Across all three Districts of Makai, violence runs rampant, with parts of the Southeast and Southwest Districts reverting to almost a tribal society. The Northern District seems to be experiencing a slight downswing in the rate of crime and domestic violence, thanks to Yomi's new innovations and improved enforcement measures, but levels remain at a disturbingly high rate. Mukuro's "Mobile Fortress" seems to be an effective pacification tool in the Southwest, but it remains limited in its capacity to manage the entire district. And despite universal loyalty to Reizen across the Southeast, the district remains at the highest level of poverty and unemployment. Governmental offices seem forgotten, and ideas of state seem foreign as the district continues to dissolve into tribes and clans that squabble amongst themselves for dominance._

_This social remission seems to be spreading as district violence bleeds over the Kakai Wall into Ningenkai, where the King's forces seem unable to deter the incidents of theft, vandalism, or even trespassing. Interviews with residents of the so-called "Wallbound" regions of Ningenkai report that there is almost no difference between the societies on either side of the Kakai. In fact, many residents of Ningenkai have been caught attempting to flee outside the Wall to avoid the rampant overcrowding within it. _

_Farther inward, out of the immediate reach of the inter-district conflict, the streets are ruled by gangs of delinquent children, who seem to be adopting a strange mockery of the tribal societies that are becoming popular in Makai. The ineffectiveness of the law enforcement across Ningenkai is leading many people to take matters into their own hands. Across the region, residents across streets and blocks are banding together against the chaos, working together to fight against the terror that the extensive gang activity holds over the city. These "Neighborhood Watch Committees" have seen some surprising success in many areas, dropping local crime rates to almost…_

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><p>The television flashed and flickered, throwing an erratic strobe light across the darkened room from it's mount high on the wall.<p>

A pair of deep, golden-brown eyes gleamed in the light, taking in its changing patterns like a man watching his favorite movie. A small smile played across his face, between curtains of smooth, silvered hair that fell across his shoulders, blending in with the long, white lab coat that wrapped around his tall frame.

He heard the creak of a door opening behind him, followed by the polite, quiet entrance of a pair of feet. There was a brief pause, and then a small sigh reached his ears.

"It was a good speech," he said, without turning.

"It felt sour."

"But it was a good speech," he insisted.

"Well, they certainly seemed to buy it," the tone was laced with sarcasm.

He nodded. "Mark of a good speech."

For a moment, the television flashed and muttered uninterrupted, spitting out the tales of war, violence, and corruption that its viewers loved to see.

"Turn it off."

He gave no reaction.

"I said turn it off."

He gave a sigh of his own this time, stepping forward and running his finger across a holographic tab below the screen. It abruptly cut out, plunging the room into darkness save for the unearthly blue work lights that glowed somewhere off to his right.

Finally, he turned to face his visitor. "Why has this got you so worked up?"

A pair of large green eyes met his gaze. "I'm sorry, trying to maintain a façade of benevolence in the face of barely-veiled threats, blatant cries for rebellion, and a hundred thousand expectant people tends to make me uneasy."

"Oh, come on, Minamino," he growled, "would you shut up and grow a backbone already? Are you really expecting this journey to travel solely along the straight-and-narrow path?"

"Of course not! I am still a businessman, after all. I know when and where it is strategically viable to bend the truth, but I still have my moral limits-"

"Which you will have to cross, if this venture is to succeed." He stepped forward, imposing his superior height on the man. "You asked me for the world, and I am handing it to you."

"I asked you to get me into the government, and you've instead forced me to _become_ a government. I wanted to change things from within the bureaucracy-"

"A bureaucracy that only serves greed and corruption," he said, folding his arms. "Change from within the system is what corrupted the system in the first place, and you cannot hope to accomplish anything by simply corrupting it further. The government of Hakusho is outdated, its bureaucracy defunct. The only option left is to abandon it entirely and start new, a goal which we are already well on the way to accomplishing."

His companion looked skeptical. "A far from instantaneous process, I am told."

He shrugged, chuckling. "The Kakai wasn't built in a day. Have a little patience, will you? We have only just begun."

Argument concluded, he turned and strode away, towards the eerie blue aura surrounding his primary personal lab station, where he began to start up the carious contraptions and machines surrounding an enormous metallic canister in the center of the room. His green eyed companion watched him, frowning, before finally being driven to follow him. "I'm still not entirely comfortable with this, Youko."

He glanced back, surprised to find the man still present, let alone still arguing with him. "You worry about managing this new government of yours, and I'll worry about our next move forward."

"And that arrangement is precisely what's concerning me," the man stated, voice slightly shrill with frustration. "You leave it to me to establish an entirely new and innovative form of government, one that must immediately quell internal and external rebellion, that is being observed through a microscope by a much stronger power, and one that I must still _sell_ to the people as a vast improvement over the one they've grown familiar with," a small hand gestured angrily at the canister he was tinkering with, "and then you go and build this? How does this represent a government for the people? How does this even represent a worthwhile expenditure of company resources? I don't know that I could even market this as a good idea, let alone a vital and necessary tool for a newborn city whose every move is currently under-"

His shadow fell across the man's ruffled red hair as stepped before him. "The time for backing out," he growled, "ended when Enma's old, recycled signature was stamped across the foot of your proposal. Do you understand?"

The small businessman looked up, meekly. "I- I understand, Youko. I never implied that I was backing out."

He smiled and turned back to his work, touching his finger to a holographic pad. The metal pod ground angrily as it began to unfold.

His companion fidgeted as the pod's contents were exposed. "I suppose I will come to understand its purpose in due time?" there was the faintest whisper of sarcasm underneath the question.

He smirked to himself, gazing at his machine. "In, as you say, due time." He stepped closer to the contraption and pressed a small button, just inside the pod's lip.

The man ran a hand irritably through his short-cropped hair, unable to think of any response except to turn and stride slowly towards the door as the pod's innards peeled back as well, drawing countless cables and complicated tools away from what stood at its core.

He glanced back at the retreating figure as the machine halted its motion. "Minamino?"

The man paused and turned at the call, having nearly reached the door.

"Give my regards to your lovely wife, won't you?"

A pair of expressionless emerald eyes answered him. "I'll tell her you asked after her."

He shook his head as the man left, chuckling to himself. Aloud, he addressed the core of the pod. "Dear Suiichi seems to finally be showing the faint glimmerings of a spine, doesn't he?"

The mechanical thing offered no comment.

He sighed. "It's good that he's showing some strength. He'll need it for he coming trials, I'm sure. And I'm sure he can see that, as well." A small control pad rose up before him, perched on a thin stand. He flipped the one switch it contained. "Let's just hope he doesn't overstep his bounds. We may need him, but we need him in his proper place."

He smiled as the thing hummed into life and straightened up. "Now, let's get to work, shall we?"

The steel-skinned figure stepped from its platform, and its three emotionless eyes glowed to life.


	2. We Find Our Hero

Hello hello hello, my loyal fans! Welcome to an all-new and TOTALLY unedited chapter! I'm almost done with high-school now, so my updates oughta get faster, both for this story AND for Shadows of the Mind, so keep your eye on both of them. (And if you haven't read Shadows, please do) As I've said, this is not so much a fanfiction as it is a re-imagining of the universe of Yu Yu Hakusho. I'm trying my best to stick to the original plot while still maintaining the original vision I had for this story, but needless to say, a few details may get lost in translation. I'm doing well so far, and my outlines for the next few chapters look pretty solid, but we'll see how things go later down the road. For now, though, enjoy the first chapter of No Magic Needed!

As always, my thanks go out to KitsunexShi and EminaKotek-nightmare for their continued love and support. You guys mean the world to me. :)

Yu Yu Hakusho is not my intellectual property, and all the characters within this story do not really belong to me. I've taken new, fresh ideas of how they might be represented, but the characters themselves and their distinctive likenesses are not mine to claim. So please don't sue me. thanks. :)

Story begins...

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><p>Darkness. Total, absolute darkness. No sight, no smell, no touch. Nothing to taste, even. Nothing but a persistent, steady ringing that grew louder, and louder, and louder…<p>

Yusuke woke up, unclenched his hands from his ears, and slammed a fist down on his clock. It squawked in alarm and went silent.

He withdrew his hand from the time-worn depression in the clock's casing and sank peacefully back into the realms of sleep.

Darkness, again. Pure, simple darkness.

A jolt shook Yusuke's body. The darkness swirled abruptly, resolving itself into an image of his floor, which was approaching at speed.

"Get up, you little brat!"

Yusuke rolled over, shaking off the impact with the ground, and blinked blearily upwards at the mass of tangled brown hair spitting expletives at him.

"I said get up, Yusuke! How many times have I gotta say it? I got you that stupid clock for a reason, you know! Know why? So I wouldn't have to do this every single fucking morning! And yet here I am, every fucking morning, hauling your stupid ass out of bed!"

Yusuke sighed, wiping a few specks of wayward spittle from his face. "Morning, Mom."

A small hand latched onto his hair and hauled him upright. "Gonna be afternoon at this rate, you lousy twerp. Come on, you're gonna be late for school." A haggard face glared out from beneath the foliage of hair. "Again."

He took a slow breath, and nearly dropped back to the floor as the stench of alcohol thundered past his nostrils. He choked back a cough. "Not like anyone but Keiko is ever that anxious to get there, anyway…"

A slap caught him across the face, nicely complementing the noxious assault of the alcohol. "Everyone else has a job, brat, _including_ Kaiko! All you've got is school, but I'll be damned if that doesn't seem to be too much of a hassle for you! You've got no job, and you've got no money, so unless you wanna end up-"

"Like my mother, God forbid?"

An excellent right hook chased the slap across Yusuke's face. "One more smart-ass comment from you, and you _will _end up living on the street. No go shower, you look like crap."

Yusuke staggered off to the bathroom, ears ringing. He cranked the water up to full-blast and tried to kick-start his brain into life.

School. Right.

School was stupid, he reflected, as the cool water coursed across his skin. Only about half of the kids in the neighborhood actually bothered with it, anyway. The only shot at a decent, upstanding, high-class job these days was to park your butt in a classroom for the first twenty-five years of your life and achieve an advanced degree in some specific, specialized field of science. Needless to say, this plan did not suit everyone; many of the kids Yusuke knew had opted out of this quarter-century of academic hell, and had struck out on their own by the time they were eleven. It was easy enough for any kid with half a spine to find a place in one of the tribal street gangs that roamed the city, or even start up their own. These delinquent bands earned themselves decent income by relieving you of yours, possibly taking a measure of your good health with it if you were uncooperative. The families of these kids raised no objection, of course: any extra bread the kid could bring home was a godsend, and if he found himself a meal out on the street, that was one less mouth that needed feeding that day. So for the most part, a blind eye was turned on the home front.

Yusuke turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, vigorously drying himself.

And then, of course, there was his mother.

A heavy, metal box was hurriedly introduced to his stomach as he opened the bathroom door.

"Get your ass into gear, Yusuke! I already got your lunch together, do I have to dress you, too?"

He carefully extracted the container from his solar plexus. "Dammit, would you give me a minute?"

"You don't have a minute, dumbass!" she replied, dragging him to his room. She pressed her topiary of hair dangerously close to his face and enunciated her words with exaggerated care. "You are _late_ for _school_. People who are _late_ do not _get_ minutes, am I making this clear to you?"

"Crystal," muttered Yusuke, nearly passing out as the alcoholic aroma attempted to asphyxiate him.

"Good." His mother threw him into his room. "Get dressed."

He struggled into his uniform. That was all his mother ever did. Go shower, go to school, go get groceries, clean up this mess, nag, nag, nag. Most parents left their kids well-enough alone these days, but not his mother. No, she didn't care what the case was for other kids, she only cared about riding _his_ case, making sure he was always doing something. It didn't really matter what, he just had to be doing something. Perhaps she took so much of an interest in keeping him busy because she, herself, had nothing better to do.

Yusuke threw his bag up over his shoulder and flicked off the light, heading for the door.

He nearly made it past the kitchen.

"Are you still here?"

Yusuke stopped, closing his eyes. "No, I'm not."

His mother turned away from the mountain of dishes in the sink. "Don't you take that tone with me, kid. Tell me you aren't forgetting something."

"I'm not forgetting anything, Mom."

"You sure? No homework, nothing? I know you had homework, did you bother to do it?"

"Yes Mom."

"You've got everything?"

"Yes, Mom!"

She narrowed her eyes. "You're lying to me. I know it. You're gonna come tearing back in here in ten minutes looking for some stupid thing or another."

Yusuke stepped towards the door. "Going to school now, Mom."

She yelled after him. "Hey! You better come _back _after school, you here? I'm gonna need you to grab some more groceries, I'm almost out of crap to feed you."

"I could just live on whiskey and peanuts, couldn't I?" he snapped back, "Always seem to be plenty of those in this house."

He ducked outside and slammed the door, hearing an expertly-thrown plate smash against it as it closed. He sighed. "God, I hate Wednesdays…"

He turned from the door, gazing at the splendor of Hakusho in the morning light.

The primary feature, of course, was the Capitol.

It towered above the skyline like a vast monolith, completely dominating the sprawling urban landscape. They'd stopped referring to it as the Palace years ago, for official reasons, but its rough, purple walls and rounded crown of a roof made it hard not to think of it as such. Old and faded, the massive structure still seemed very regal, a literal pillar of strength of the city, and arguably its most defining feature.

The main contender for that honor, of course, was the Kakai wall, stretching out from either side of the Palace like a pair of giant arms, engulfing the central regions of Hakusho. Much like the Capitol, its sheer, impossible size was unmatched in nearly the entire city. It seemed to go on forever, stretching onward as the viewer turned around, with its distant corners and long shadows breaking up the endless ring of stone. It's color matched that of the Palace, an old, faded purple, and it boasted a similar aura of royal splendor that had withstood the tests of the elements, time, and occasional mortar fire.

Sheltered within the Kakai's strong arms was the region of Ningenkai. It was the heart of Haksuho, stretching for leagues in every direction. The vast majority of the region was a dense, urban jungle that sprawled every which way on an inconsistent grid pattern of streets and alleyways. Towers of apartments carpeted the landscape like a fungus, shading the streets below from all but the most direct noonday sun. A spiderweb of decrepit and recycled walkways stretched between the buildings, creating trails and footpaths far above the street that redirected pedastrian traffic, allowing the cars and trucks below to zoom by at ridiculous speeds.

Yusuke slung his bag up over his shoulder and began trudging down the rusted catwalk that led to his house. Outside of the streets of Ningenkai, Yusuke had to admit he knew almost nothing of Hakusho. He knew that on the other side of the Kakai was a region called Makai, sparsely populated by thieves and cutthroats that preferred the relative freedom of life outside the wall. He'd met a few creeps that claimed to have been there, but he'd never seen it himself, apart from the towering expanse of Maze Castle looming over the southwest, a building so old that the Kakai itself bent inwards to avoid it.

He also knew that on the other side of the Palace, the wall wrapped around a third region, a smaller one, called Reikai. He'd never been there, either, but many of its tall spires peeked over the top of the Kakai, fanning out behind the Capitol like a great, feathery tail. At one point, Reikai had boasted almost mythological splendor, serving as a virtual nervana to the people of Ningenkai. Or so he'd been told.

The catwalk bent around to the right, pointing Yusuke directly towards the industrial sector of Tokogawa. In contrast to all economical logic, high-rises and grand towers soared above the dismal smoke stacks and skulking factories, standing like oases in the urban desert of Ningenkai. Yusuke had heard that this had something to do with some massive corporation or another, but whatever the reason for it, it provided a much more accessible nirvana than the distant region over the wall.

Yusuke glanced over the railing to check his position, then vaulted off the catwalk onto a second one several meters below. It wasn't that he particularly wanted to get to school faster, he just didn't feel like walking any longer than he had to. Besides, he was about the only person within ten miles who could take this route safely, and what was the point of a privilege you never took advantage of?

Of course, that wasn't to say his privelege always went uncontested.

"Hey guys! C'mere and look at this guy!"

Yusuke glanced up, still walking. Across the way, and slightly upwards, a small group of teenaged ruffians had sauntered up to the rail, leering down at him. "Where d'you think you're goin', punk? You walkin' around on our walks without our say so?"

"Get lost, morons," Yusuke snarled back. "This isn't your turf, either."

There was a moment of awkward silence. Yusuke grinned to himself at the thought that these poor sods had probably never had a lone guy talk back to them before in their lives.

"What'd you just say?" said the apparent leader, motioning to the others. "You lookin' to start somethin', punk?"

Yusuke eyed the rest of the guy's group, which was making its way menacingly over to his stretch of the walk. "Not especially. Just pointing out that these walks belonged to Kazuma Kuwabara last time I checked, and he usually prefers to have me beat his ass personally, instead of sending a bunch of goons out to take his licks for him. Besides," he muttered, as said goons advanced on him, "you aren't nearly flamboyant enough to be associated with Kuwabara."

"Shut up! Yeah, we ain't with Kuwabara, but his sissy ass ain't around to give a shit, now is it? Not since he went soft."

Yusuke paused, turning back to look at the speaker. "Say what?"

"You ain't heard? Kuwabara's done, man! He gave up! Just walks around lettin' every momma's boy kick the shit outta him without so much as spittin' in their eye! He's done! And that means these walks are now the rightful property of the Futama-Yami Gang! And you, you smack-talkin' bastard, are tresspassin' on our property."

Yusuke raised an eyebrow as the grinning thugs drew level with him, and dropped his bag to the floor with a thud. "Well, then I guess we're just gonna have to work out the same deal as I had with Kuwabara, now aren't we?"

The nearest goon chuckled and spat at Yusuke. "Yeah, how 'bout you bend over and we'll all take turns-"

There was a brief period of intense violence, occasionally punctuated by a small scream or the metallic clang of a thick forehead slamming onto the catwalk.

Yusuke stepped over an unconscious form, dusting himself off, and jabbed a finger up at the gang leader, whose following had suddenly dwindled by several members. "Here's how it's gonna be: I walk these walks whenever I want, wherever I want. You and your boys won't bug me, and in return, I won't crack you like an egg. Deal?"

The boy shook slightly, his face sheet-white. Hs mouth opened and shut for several moments, before he finally organized his trembling legs enough to turn and bolt down the block.

Yusuke watched him go. "Good. Done deal, then."

He turned kicked a limp body off of his bag, scooped it up, and resumed his trek.

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><p>For tradition's sake, or perhaps increased security, the school only had one entrance: the front door, on the ground. Panic rooms had been installed, for the sake of fire safety, but traffic in and out of the building could be a nightmare some mornings.<p>

This was not one of those mornings.

Keiko was the only person waiting for him as he left the walks and stepped into the overcrowded parking lot of Public School 38.

"Yusuke! What are you doing? You have fifty-seven seconds to be in class before you're late!" she gave him a brown-eyed glare. "Again!"

"Chill out, I got here as fast as I could…" he muttered, walking past her.

She followed him, her brown hair bobbing fretfully as she jogged to keep pace with his longer strides. "No you didn't, don't even pretend. Your little shortcut route to school can be run in fifteen minutes and thirty-six seconds, and walked in twenty minutes and twenty five seconds. I _know_ Atsuko gets you out of the house every morning with at least thirty minutes to spare, so clearly you were dawdling." She began shoving at his back, urging him to speed up.

Yusuke stumbled forward. "Alright, I'm sorry, I ran into some trouble-"

"More like trouble ran into you, I'm sure. Come on, fifteen seconds left, let's go!"

"Hey, chill out, will you? The world won't end if I'm fifteen seconds late to class."

"Oh, and since when did you start caring about the world?"

With a final effort, she shoved him into the classroom, unbalancing both of them and sending them tumbling to the floor as the bell rang.

Keiko swiftly pushed herself up, blushing furiously as she found her seat amidst the susurrus of giggles. She didn't look at him.

"Good morning to you, too," Yusuke muttered to himself, feeling a pang of guilt as he collected himself off of the floor. He was perfectly content to degrade his own image without shedding a tear, but he hated marring Keiko's perfect reputation, especially when she was trying to improve his.

"Hehehe, what were _you_ two doing-"

Yusuke turned a steely glare on the anonymous loser who'd spoken up. The kid fell abruptly silent and shrank down in his seat.

He smirked to himself. See, Keiko? Sometimes street cred comes in handy.

He plopped down in his seat at the back of the class and zoned out promptly as the lecture began.

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><p>The day passed in a dim haze, as most of them did. The professors droned on endlessly, the students blurted out answers, and people shuffled from one organized holding pen to the next. Occasionally, his hand mustered the energy to raise a pen and jot down a note somewhere, but then the fruitlessness of the situation caught up with it, and it sank back down beneath a crushing wave of apathy.<p>

His one respite from the doldrums of the day was lunchtime. He'd long since popped the lock on the door to the roof, and since there was no real way to escape up there, no one had bothered to replace it. No one but him really came up there, anyway. He'd been sure to 'strongly discourage' any visitors.

Well, all except one.

"Knew I'd find you up here," said Keiko, stepping out onto the roof.

Yusuke nodded, staring at the distant, shining towers of Tokogawa Industrial Park. "Hey, Keiko. Sorry about the whole mess this morning…"

Keiko sighed. "It's alright, I shoved you to hard, it was my fault."

Yusuke shrugged. "Alright, point taken." There was a large 'K' emblazoned across one of the tallest towers… Now, what did that stand for…

Keiko blinked at him for a second, and then let out an exasperated sigh and sat down next to him.

Yusuke snapped his fingers. "Kurama®! That's the name!"

Keiko jumped. "What? The name of what?"

He gestured at the distant buildings. "I was trying to remember what company it was that built up the industrial park like that. It was Kurama®, wasn't it?"

Keiko looked out over the city. "Yes, it was. It was also quite a while ago. Five years and three months, I think, since the construction first began."

Yusuke looked away. "Yeah, well… they just seemed, I don't know… particularly shiny today."

Keiko shrugged. "Well, they would."

"Weren't they in the news or something? I feel like I;ve heard their name mentioned recently…"

The girl turned and regarded him. "Yusuke, don't you pay attention at _all_?"

He winced. "Sometimes…"

"History has just been made, you numbskull! Kurama® just signed off on a deal that might change the course of history! King Enma just officially declared them a separate sovereign power! Those towers," she gestured emphatically, "are now a completely different country!"

Yusuke looked back at them, furrowing his brow.

"… No…" he said, after a moment. "That can't be right. There haven't been any other countries around for thousands of years."

"Exactly," said Keiko, rubbing her temples. "That's why it's such a big deal."

* * *

><p>Yusuke jogged through the halls with the end-of-class bell still ringing in his ears. He burst through the doors and strode confidently into the lot, taking in a refreshing breath of smog and carbon monoxide. Ah, freedom!<p>

He hesitated before heading home. There was still something nagging at the back of his mind. He checked his watch: his mother wouldn't be sober at this hour, anyhow. No sense in hurrying.

He turned and pushed his way through the streaming crowd towards a small ramp leading up to a slightly-less familiar set of walks. Less familiar, but not totally unfamiliar.

A few twists and turns brought him within sight of the strangest cut of orange hair that man could ever have conceived.

"Hey, Kuwabara!"

The questionably-styled youth turned and shouted back across the chasm between the buildings. "Whadda you want, Urimeshi?"

"Nothin' much," Yusuke hollered back, carefully negotiating the path towards the boy. "My ass-kicking foot is feelin' a little stiff, though, so I figured I'd loosen it up a bit. Got a moment?"

"Fuck you, Urimeshi," the boy responded, turning and stalking away.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Yusuke taunted as he drew level with him.

"God damn it!" Kuwabara whirled around and threw a screaming punch into Yusuke's face. Or at least, he started to.

Yusuke stood, arms folded, staring at the knuckles quivering just in front of his nose. "Huh," he muttered, "You really have gone soft, haven't you?"

Kuwabara drew his fist back, snarling. "Maybe I just don't feel like moppin' the floor with you today, how 'bout that?"

"That would make this a pretty regular day, then, wouldn't it?"

"Go to hell." He turned and walked away again.

Yusuke jogged after him. "Seriously, though, you feelin' alright? Ran into a bunch of punks this morning saying they own your turf now. Real losers, too. I mean, I usually leave trash like that to the janitor, but they told me you'd gone soft, so-"

"I have Not. Gone. Soft. Asshole." Yusuke drew up sharply to keep the accusing finger from jabbing him in the eye.

"Then what happened, man? It usually takes three guys to keep you from your daily suicide charge into my fist."

The finger was lowered, replaced by a hint of a smirk. "Winnin' ain't everything, Urimeshi. But fightin' ain't everything, either. Honor's what matters. A guy ain't nothin' without guys to watch his back. And if they gotta watch your back, you gotta watch theirs."

Yusuke blinked slowly. "Could you say that slower, in some way that doesn't make you sound like a bad movie cliché?"

Kuwabara rolled his eyes. "Look, my last tangle got a bit out of hand, alright? People got hurt, cops got involved, long story short, my boys and I are in trouble. If I fight again, we all get canned. Expelled, too. And one of the guys just got himself an honest job, and he might lose that along with all the rest of it."

Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "Wow. No kiddin'?"

The broad-shouldered youth heaved a heavy sigh. "Yeah. So, no fightin'. And I gotta keep my grades up through the semester. That one's killin' me."

"Harsh."

"Yeah, I know…"

"So now what? You run away screaming every time someone cracks their knuckles at you?"

Kuwabara's laughter echoed off the tall buildings. "What, Kazuma Kuwabara runnin' away? Ha! That'll be the day."

Yusuke looked skeptical. "So… what? You just stand there and let these bums hit you?"

The boy shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much. It's no so bad, really. I've taken my fair share of beatings, really solid ones, too, nothin' these bastards could ever measure up to. I can handle it."

Yusuke winced. "Yeah, but eventually…"

"Eventually some psycho'll come along and really lay into me, but I get myself to the hospital, there's a doc there that I know, he stitches me up pretty well and doesn't talk about it much." He grinned maliciously. "I got the names of each and every one of the bums, though. Once I'm off this damned thing, I'm gonna be payin' me a few visits."

Yusuke smirked. "I gotcha. That's still a hell of a beating, though… I don't think even I've put you in the hospital more than once or twice."

Again, Kuwabara barked out a laugh. "You wish, Urimeshi. You ever put me in the hospital over an honest fight, and I'll eat my hat." He looked puzzled. "Course, I don't have a hat… I think Mike might have a hat he'd loan me, though… 'Course, he might not want it back, after…"

Yusuke chuckled. "Always the glutton for punishment, aren't we?"

The orange-haired youth cocked an eyebrow. "You wait 'till I'm swingin' again, then we'll see who's getting' punished."

"Yeah, I'm sure," Yusuke checked his watch, His mother oughta be somewhere near sober by the time he got home. "Alright, I gotta get home. You tell those punks hangin' out on your turf that I'm used to considering it free-range, got it?"

"Sure thing. I'll tell 'em you're such a pansy that I felt bad for you and let you pass."

"As long as you also share the number of times this pansy has beaten your pasty-white ass." He fired back, walking away. "And don't take that out of context, either. Don't want you getting too excited."

"Fuck you, Urimeshi!"

"In your lonely, pathetic dreams!"

* * *

><p>Yusuke strode along the walks, deep in thought.<p>

It was starting to get later, and a few more people were out and about, running a few errands before dinner. The crowds kept the general hooligan level down, allowing the bustling pedestrians to go about their business relatively peacefully.

Kuwabara's honor code was renowned throughout Hakusho, as far as Yusuke could tell; he hadn't traveled far, but everywhere he had been, people had heard of Kazuma Kuabara. He wouldn't allow his gang to fight girls, period. He would even go out of his way to come to a girl's rescue, if he came across one who needed it, and had achieved some of his most widely-known victories through a valiant rescue mission against impossible odds. The hits his gang made were only ever on the bigger stores or the higher-class individuals who could take the loss, never robbing a struggling family buisiness or mugging a homeless man. And he never, ever fought dirty.

He would however, fight anyone and everyone who was his age or older, and wasn't openly female. He seemed to fight for the sheer joy of it, taking on all comers and wading into impossible battles just to challenge himself, and his honorable gang was not above going out and actively looking for trouble. And despite Yusuke's jabs, he had actually built up a pretty serious reputation as a brawler, second only to Yusuke's.

Yusuke scratched his chin. The weird thing was, people generally liked Kuwabara. The authorities that caught up with him recognized that, while he was essentially just a big, dumb lug that didn't know when to fall down, his honor code was generally a better source of justice than the law was. There was no end of vicious creeps out there that were keeping the authorities well-employed, and any of them that Kuwabara took out made their job that much easier. With him loose on the streets, the city was a marginally safer place to be.

So why'd he get busted?

Sure, he was an idiot, but he'd never do anything serious enough to get arrested for, or even expelled. Given the specificity of the punishment, Yusuke was beginning to think someone had set him up to take this fall.

A loud crack, like a bolt of lightning, jolted Yusuke back to reality.

Some ways down the street, a hovercar screamed around the corner. It was clearly a custom job, sleek an blood-red, and there was some guy hanging out the window, firing a shoulder-mounted electrical cannon back the way that the car had come. Around the corner, in hot pursuit, came three jet-black police cruisers, lights flashing and engines roaring.

The shoulder cannon loosed another crackling blast, which snarled underneath the cruisers and tore into the wall behind them, chewing up the stone and spitting it out at the pedestrians below.

The crowd around Yusuke looked on, frozen in horrified fascination. The people on the crosswalks scrambled hurriedly to either side, anxious to be out of the path of this screaming red demon.

And then Yusuke saw the ball.

It was a soccer ball, a new one. Slightly below regulation size, perhaps, but then so was the little tyke scampering after it. The pair of them pushed against the tide of the crowd, steadily meandering out onto the walk that was swiftly being vacated.

The boy was small, no older than three or four. At his age, many parents would probably question him being out on the walks at all, let alone by himself. The walks were notoriously dangerous, and every week there were stories about a crumbling floor or aged railing dropping someone to a screaming death, but for someone of this kid's height, he might just as easily walk _under_ most of the railings, broken or otherwise.

It was clear, though, that of the many people lined along the walks, the boy's parents were not among them. He seemed to pass beneath the gaze of the crowd, fixated as it was on the explosive chase that drew nearer and nearer. Not one of them so much as batted an eye as the young boy toddled swiftly after his escaping toy.

The ball rolled onward, making its meandering progress towards the middle of the crosswalk with the determined child in hot pursuit. The hovercars screamed closer.

Yusuke looked around. No one had moved. No one had even glanced away from the approaching vehicles. No one had seen the boy yet.

Feeling slightly out-of-place in the transfixed crowd, he leaned out over the railing and shouted down. "Hey! Hey, kid! What are you doing? Get out of there!"

The kid looked up and slowed his pace, staring dumbly at Yusuke. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a few gazes finally break away from the red hovercar.

"Go on!" he yelled, struggling to be heard over the shrieks of the electric cannon. "Get out of the way! It's dangerous out there!"

The boy paused, regarding him with a blank expression. A few voices from the crowd filtered into Yusuke's ears: "Oh my God!" "Who's kid is that?" "What's that kid doing out there?" "The car! It's headed right for him! He's going to be killed!"

Yusuke's head snapped around. Sure enough, the red hovercar was banking in a wild, evasive maneuver that was proving to be just a bit too much for the pilot to handle. The winding trajectory was aiming it straight for the crosswalk, which the pilot was probably hoping to skip off of to stabilize his flight. The tiny kid would barely slow him down.

"Goddamn it!" Yusuke swore, bolting through the crowd. He pushed and shoved at the mass of bodies as they pressed closer to the railing, trying to get a closer look at the stranded child, now staring in dull fascination at the oncoming hovercar.

Yusuke vaulted the rail, dropping into a roll as he hit the crosswalk below before rising into a full-out sprint. Seconds from impact, the noise from the approaching craft was deafening, obliterating all noise except for the dull thud of his boots against the floor and the ragged pulsing of his breath and his heartbeat.

Time itself seemed to slow to a crawl. The ominous red glow of the hovercraft loomed ever closer out of the corner of his eye, and his footsteps seemed ponderously slow, slamming down one after the other in front of him. He could feel every little twinge, every muscle in his body straining to its limit, struggling to propel him forward faster, faster, faster…

Yusuke lunged. His arms scooped up the small child almost delicately, gently tossing him to the far end of the crosswalk, safely out of danger. The whole thing was executed in a single, smooth motion.

And for the life of him, Yusuke didn't know why he'd done it.

Then there was an impact, like a sucker-punch from God.

And then there was nothing.


	3. Woke Up Dead

Hey, all! Yep, just another fine update to the newest story of mine. :) I'm really liking how it's coming along. It's really quite a lot of fun to try and translate all of Yu Yu Hakusho into a science fiction genre. I'm very excited for the upcoming chapters, where I might FINALLY get Yusuke into his new body :P But we'll see.

My thanks, as always, go out to the creators of Yu Yu Hakusho, whose rights I would never hope to infringe upon, and to my best friends KitsunexShi and EminaKotek-nightmare. They are both extraordinarily awesome, and, if you like what I write, then you'll LOVE what they can do. ;)

Anyway, on with the show!

* * *

><p>A few bright flashes.<p>

A dull, red haze.

A couple of snatches of words.

Then… nothing.

Nothing but a vast sea of unending blackness, silent and featureless.

At some timeless point in this vast emptiness, Yusuke… woke up.

Well, it wasn't exactly 'waking up.' The blackness was still there, the sense of absolute void. He just sort of became aware of it.

He looked around, or tried to. He thought about turning his head to scan the inky blackness, but nothing happened. Not that he'd notice the scenery move, of course. There was nothing around to look _at_.

He reached up to rub his eyes. Again, nothing happened.

Well, now that was odd. Rubbing your eyes shouldn't be affected by what you can or can't see. It just sorta happened. You knew where your hands were, you knew where your eyes were, so you sorta just brought them together-

And then it hit him.

Where _were_ his hands?

He looked around wildly, or at least he looked wildly. Blackness all over, nothingness. He couldn't see his hands anywhere.

But he couldn't _feel_ them, either.

He swore to himself, thinking very hard about squirming desperately against whatever was restraining him. "Dammit, what the hell is going on?"

"Actually there are two answers to that."

Wherever his body was, Yusuke was pretty sure it had just gone into cardiac arrest.

Someone had just appeared a few meters in front of him, a slight girl in a hideously-pink leather coat, with long, wild, bright blue hair that was tied in a high ponytail off of the back of her head.

"One of them," the girl continued, "is an easy answer, while the other is… less so. But the second answer may provide a bit more comfort."

She was standing at odds to Yusuke's perspective, presenting him with her profile as she addressed something unseen to Yusuke's left. And what a profile it was, too, even beneath the garish, color-length coat.

"Well, _hello_ there, gorgeous," Yusuke said. He attempted to saunter closer, but the girl remained at a fixed distance.

She raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "And good-morning to you, too. How are you feeling?"

Yusuke thought about grinning. "All the better for seeing your pretty-"

"Physically, I mean," the girl corrected, emphatically.

The imaginary grin faded. "I… um… funny thing, would you believe me if I said I didn't know?"

The girl nodded, hair bouncing along her back. "I would, actually. But describe it for me, whatever you _can_ feel. Detailed information at this stage may prove invaluable in future research."

Yusuke thought about frowning. "So, what, I'm an experiment now? Are you conducting research on my formless body?"

She shook her head this time, sending ripples along the ponytail. "No, actually, we're researching what's left of your _real_ body. But primarily, we're researching your mind."

Yusuke thought about nodding. "Uh-huh. So why am I looking at the _side_ of you? Not that I mind, of course," he added quickly, "it's just weird to talk to you when you're addressing something I can't even see."

"What?" Finally, the girl turned, looking vaguely in Yusuke's direction. "Oh! I hadn't realized the imaging system was ready yet. My word, that was fast…" She leaned to one side and hit a few buttons on something Yusuke couldn't see, before turning and facing him. "There you are!" she said, looking directly at him for the first time.

Yusuke looked down, and there was his body. "Hey! There we go! Wait…" He noticed he still couldn't 'feel' anything, the body beneath him just moved when he thought to move it. "This is weird… is this my body?"

The girl shook her head. "I'm sorry, it isn't. This is merely a projection of your body drawn from your subconscious-"

"Does it work like the old one did?"

"Um, well, yes, it responds to your thoughts and moves where your brain tells it to-"

"Sweet," Yusuke stepped forward. "Now tell me how to get out of here before I knock your teeth in."

The girl blinked in surprise. "What?"

"You heard me." Yusuke drew level with her, imposing his superior height on the small girl. "You tell me how to get out of here or I'll beat it out of you."

There was a long pause. The girl calmly folded her arms. "Okay. Go ahead, hit me."

It was Yusuke's turn to pause. "Um, I will, you know. I've never held that hitting girls was dishonorable, that's Kuwabara's gig."

The girl nodded. "No, by all means, go right ahead."

"I mean it. I'll sock you, right in the face, no pulled punches."

She nodded again. "I understand. Please, have at it. I insist."

Yusuke shrugged. "And who am I to refuse a lovely lady?" With that, Yusuke drew back and slugged her, right across the jaw.

His hand went straight through her. It was like he'd hit nothing but air.

Yusuke stared at his hand for a long moment. Slowly, he reached up and pushed his fingers into the girl's forehead. The phased right through it. Logic told him he should be feeling up her brain matter, but he couldn't feel _anything_.

He withdrew them again, silently, 'cause it felt awkward to have your fingers wiggling around inside a girl's head.

She shrugged at him. "The body you're using isn't actually your body. In fact, technically, it isn't even a body at all. It's a 3-dimensional image created by your subconscious mind to serve as a temporary form, making it easier for you to interact with others, and for us to interact with you. It's a sort of astral projection… like a ghost."

Yusuke stared at her. Then he looked down at his hand, which seemed perfectly solid to him. "So… I'm dead?"

The girl smiled sadly. "That's the easy answer, I'm afraid."

Yusuke reached up and touched one hand with the other hand as she continued. "You were hit by a small aircraft being pursued by federal forces. It attempted to skip off of a crosswalk to regain altitude. There was a boy in its path, a child… You saved his life…"

Yusuke watched as his fingers phased seamlessly through his open palm. He didn't feel a thing. He pulled his fingers back out, and still felt nothing.

He looked up. "You said there were two answers."

She nodded.

"Well, what's the other one?"

She grimaced. "Complicated."

Yusuke smirked. "I'm dead. I have time."

The girl cracked the smallest of smiles. "Point taken." She glanced down, as though something near her waist had caught her attention. "Ah, it looks like the Prince is ready to grant you an audience. Perhaps I'll leave the explanations to him. He understands it best, anyway." She tapped a few buttons on her invisible panel.

"The Prince?" Yusuke cocked his head. "As in Prince Koenma? The King's son?"

The girl nodded. "The very same. Welcome, your highness."

Something appeared in the air to Yusuke's left, and he immediately let out a blood-curdling scream.

The thing hovering before him chuckled. "Hello, Yusuke Urimeshi. You've been asleep for a long time."

Yusuke's mouth managed, after a few false starts, to form words. "_That's_ Prince Koenma?"

The girl looked blankly up in the direction of Yusuke's gaze. "Yes, of course. Why, what does he look like?"

The hat the thing wore took up more than half of the image. It was as though someone had taken a massive balloon, painted it in royal purple, and strapped it on with a faded red headband emblazoned with the letters "Jr." in thick, black thread. The face beneath it was rounded and smooth, like a newborn baby, but long-worn stress lines and crow's feet crisscrossed the pale skin like battle scars. The eyes were big and brown, and their depth spoke of ages more world-weariness than the tiny ears and pudgy cheeks would suggest. But worst of all was the strange, abominable machine that gripped the nose and mouth. Air vents stretched out along either side, obscuring any dimples that might be present, and a small, rounded filtering apparatus protruded from the thing's snout, like a knob.

Yusuke blinked at the horror, unable to look away. "It's a giant… head…"

The girl sighed, dropping her forehead into her palm. "Again? Sir, I've told you about the Giant Head appearance, it just unnerves people."

The head raised a hairless eyebrow. "The few people I _do _meet face to face have to learn to respect me," it said, its voice full of tinny, mechanical static. "Immediate intimidation is often very effective on that score."

The girl gestured at Yusuke. "But you aren't looking to intimidate Yusuke, we're looking to secure his trust and cooperation!"

The giant head shrugged, which is quite a feat without shoulders. "Generally, I find that intimidation secures cooperation, as well as respect."

"Hang on, hang on a minute," Yusuke managed, still moderately terrified, "I've seen you on the news before, and the last time you showed your face, you were a tall, well-manicured pansy in a purple robe."

The head nodded, "My double, yes. He attends all of my public functions and makes my appearances for me. I've found that appearing as a really old baby does little to bolster one's popularity."

"I can't help but agree…" Yusuke muttered. "Plus, they'd have to build you special chairs and things. I mean, can you even fit through a door with that hat?"

"Yusuke! That is Prince Koenma you are addressing!" snapped the girl angrily, but the head merely chuckled. "Oh, no, what you're seeing is rather enlarged. I am a child in size as well as in shape. Two-foot-seven, to be exact. Without the hat."

Yusuke paused, but when he again opened his mouth, the head cut him off. "To answer your impending awkward question, it's a disease I was born with, a flaw in my genetics that prevents my body from developing past the age of about four months. As you might imagine, this diagnosis comes with no end of serious health problems. A series of cutting-edge innovations in gene therapy managed to free my brain from the developmental limits of my body, so I am still fully self-aware, and even quite bright by today's standards," the aged eyes glanced up at the enormous hat, "But the cosmetic results of the process are rather a sore sight."

Yusuke nodded, still fixated on the gigantic infant in horrid fascination. "And the metallic thing trying to eat your face?"

The eyes crossed comically, trying to look at the machine between them. "A breathing device that helps my underdeveloped lungs limp along, and infuses the air I breathe with extra oxygen." The toddler looked back up at Yusuke. "I'm rather dependant on it, in fact, and as such, it has become quietly referred to as my "pacifier."

"I'll have you know, I have never once referred to it in such a-" the girl began.

"Botan, please," he sighed, "I can handle a bit of humor, you know, it's what makes this condition _bearable_."

The girl opened her mouth to speak again, but then thought better of it, settling down again.

"Forgive me," the floating head told Yusuke, "But I believe I have yet to make the proper introductions. This young lady is Botan, my top agent," the girl in the pink coat bowed politely. "She's been attending to you for several days now, while you've been asleep."

Yusuke cocked an eyebrow. "You mean while I've been dead?"

The head inclined itself. "In a sense, I suppose."

He shook his head. "Figures. Girls only attend to me once I've kicked the bucket."

There was the suggestion of a smirk beneath the strange mechanical breathing mask. "And I, as you've been informed, am Prince Koenma, son of King Enma and rightful heir to the throne of Hakusho."

There was a pause. "… What, am I supposed to bow?"

Koenma's head mad a shrugging gesture again. "Only if you feel so inclined."

Yusuke folded his arms. "Well, I don't."

"Yusuke, please be respectful!"

"Why? He isn't _my_ Prince anymore. I'm pretty sure being dead voids your citizenship."

"Actually," Koenma corrected, "If that is your line of argument, then you are still quite well within my boundaries of rule."

Yusuke blinked. "Pardon?"

The metal contrivance on Koenma's face failed to conceal his smile. "You aren't actually _dead_, Yusuke Urimeshi. You're currently lying face up on a stainless-steel medical cot in a come. There are about a dozen various tubes and wires running in and out of your body, and about three-times that running from a massive and entirely unique contraption around your head, but you are very much _alive_."

"Admittedly," chimed Botan, "You can't move, breathe, see, or hear from within your own body at the moment, so your state of life isn't all that exciting right now."

Yusuke thought for a moment. "… But I can taste things?"

"I hope not," Koenma said, glancing over at what Yusuke presumed to be his own comatose body, "That nutrient broth we've been feeding you is really quite foul…"

"Fantastic," Yusuke muttered. He glanced down, and immediately uncrossed his arms. The sight of them phasing through one another was rather unnerving. "Which brings me around to my original question."

Botan cocked her head. "Which was?"

"What the hell is going on?"

Koenma nodded appreciatively. "Quite a question."

"I assume," said Botan, "That you mean Why are you, some unassuming civilian, having been in a tragic, but not unheard of, aircraft accident, suddenly the center of Prince Koenma's attention?"

"Well, yeah," Yusuke said, "I mean, I've heard the words 'research' and 'experiment' used in direct reference to me several times in the last fifteen minutes, and I'm kinda curious as to why."

Botan sighed. "And now we get to the difficult part."

Koenma sighed along with her. "You see, Yusuke, the state of Hakusho is really quite dire."

Yusuke looked puzzled. "It is? I hadn't noticed. I mean, well, I had noticed the rampant amount of juvenile delinquents and Keiko's pointed out the ridiculous crime rates to me a few times, but I just thought that made it a more interesting place to live."

Koenma laughed darkly. "If only everyone thought as you did, Yusuke… Your first clue, however, into the internal state of affairs in this city should be that the person you believed to be Prince Koenma is, in fact, a rather talented actor, and the person truly in charge is actually a twenty-four year-old infant with an enormous hat."

"Wait, you're not in charge, though," Yusuke interjected, "I mean, you're still just _Prince_ Koenma. King Enma's the guy in charge…" he hesitated, "Isn't he?"

Koenma sighed, and his pudgy face seemed to age several more years. "King Enma is dead. Long dead. For the last decade, we've maintained the illusion that the country is being run by a dead monarch, while the real person in charge is, again, a twenty-four year-old infant."

Yusuke took several seconds to process this. "… Damn… Really?"

Botan nodded. "It's true. It's easier this way: if we admitted the façade and placed Koenma's public double on the throne, he would be forced to make on-the-spot decisions that he is far under-qualified to make. This way, when a tough decision is presented to him, he simply answers that he will 'confer with the King' about it later, and brings it back to the _real_ Koenma for the final decision."

This took Yusuke a further several seconds to process. "… Wow. That's pretty slick."

Koenma nodded graciously. "Thanks. But the system is imperfect and highly inefficient, a mark of a flawed and failing internal bureaucracy. It has taken me all eleven years of my being in charge to even _slow_ this city's decline, let alone stop it or even reverse it. It will take at least another dozen years or so to get things back on track, and it will involve some serious and radical changes to every major governmental system currently in place. I would have my hands full even without the charade of my late father's continued rule, but that isn't even the worst of my problems. It's not even the fact that the regions of Makai are in such a shambles that they are reverting to a squabbling conglomeration of tribes and clans that have no regard for each other, let alone any higher forms of governing!" the Prince's temper seemed to be rising fast, "It's that damned Kurama® Biotechnology and their bastard of a chief engineer Youko, and his blasted pet Suiichi Minamino! They sneak and smuggle their way around this city's regulations and twist and lie and scheme and they destroy _everything_ I've been working for-"

Botan raised a hand. "Sir, please, you're breathing too hard."

And indeed, the enlarged face did seem to be reddening a great deal, and the eyes had begun to water. Koenma ducked his head for a moment, an a pudgy hand came into view, turning the knob on the 'Pacifier' a few degrees. He sat up again and took a few deep breaths before continuing.

"Thank you, Botan. As I was saying, Youko has managed to use Kurama® to completely separate himself from the city, which moves him firmly out of my jurisdiction."

"Wait," said Yusuke, struggling to keep up, "Who's Youko? I thought the guy in charge of Kurama was, what's his name, Minamino?"

Koenma nodded. "A front man. A public face. A puppet figurehead with no real power."

"Huh. Kind of like your double."

Koenma faltered. "Well, I suppose that-"

"Or even your dead father, to a certain extent."

The hairless brow furrowed. "Both of which are unfortunate but necessary circumstances during these trying times. And both of which I am actively seeking to remove."

Yusuke nodded. "I imagine this Youko person thinks the exact same of Minamino."

"You're really quite perceptive, aren't you?" muttered Botan, offhandedly.

"The difference," snarled Koenma, without acknowledging Botan's commentary, "is that I am working towards their removal for the good of this city, _not_ because I am seeking to expand my power base. In case you haven't noticed, I am _already_ Supreme Ruler."

Yusuke raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright, I concede the point. But what does all this have to do with me?"

Koenma's hard expression relaxed slightly. "Youko is rapidly outrunning my ability to reach him. His ambition is pushing him quite far. He doesn't just want to gain independence, he wants to take over the entirety of Hakusho, and he isn't far from having the means to do it. Kurama® is quite well-off when it comes to weapons technology, better than we are in most cases. Our only advantage over them at the moment is our superior resources, which is the only thing keeping Youko from openly declaring war. So we need to press our advantage now, while we still have it, or we won't stand a chance against Kurama®'s forces in ten year's time when they finally choose to engage us."

Yusuke nodded. "I gotcha… sort of a preemptive strike?"

"Exactly!" Botan chimed in.

"… And you want me to do it?"

"Correct," Koenma confirmed.

"… But isn't that what the military is for? You know, soldiers, strike teams, that sort of thing?"

Koenma sighed deeply. "All tied up, I'm afraid, in an attempt to stunt the ridiculous growth of crime in this city. That's Youko's game, you see, bolstering the local crime rings to tie up the forces we might otherwise bring to bear against him. I don't have the spare personnel to go public against him, so I've been forced to rely entirely on my agents, such as Botan, to thwart Youko's more dubious activities." Botan waved cheerily at the mention of her name.

Yusuke cocked his head. "But wait, you already know Youko's flying under the radar. So why not just catch him and expose him? He'd lose his public support and his company would choke."

Koenma simply shook his head. "Spoken like a man who has never attempted to accomplish what he just suggested. It's a good thought, and believe me, I have put my full efforts towards doing just that, but Youko is too careful. I won't beat him that easily. My only hope on that score is to draw his attention to other matters so that he gets careless, but more than that, my immediate goal is to stop his expansion at all costs. If his power grows any greater, he'll be too big to defeat at _all_."

Yusuke nodded. "Gotcha… so you want me to help you take this guy down. This company, rather."

"Yes."

"How, though? I'm _dead_."

"Not dead," corrected Botan, "Comatose. Your mind is still very much active and alert."

"Which is precisely why we need you," Koenma added.

Yusuke looked puzzled. "You need me because my body is inert?"

"What if I told you I could give you a _new_ body?" the infant Prince inquired.

"I'd tell you I'm kind of attached to the old one," he responded promptly, "I've had it since I was born. It's grown on me, you know?"

This time, it was Botan that snickered to herself, while Koenma simply looked impatient. "It wouldn't be permanent, I can assure you. Your real body would remain here, safe and sound and well-cared for, and you would use this new one until such time as your old one could be revived."

Yusuke considered this. "And in return, lemme guess, I'd have to run around as your super secret agent, hitting targets I'm pointed at, and stopping Kurama®'s expansion wherever I could, yes? Sort of like some high-class government hound dog, hunting down the dirty little fox, Youko."

Koenma nodded after a moment. "Yes, I suppose that's one way to look at it-"

"I thought so." Yusuke turned his back on them. "Not interested."

He could practically hear Botan's mouth drop open. "What?"

"In case you haven't noticed," he snarled, "I have issues with authority. And that includes taking orders from some wrinkled little toddler with a gas mask who tells me he's king of the world."

He could feel Koenma's stern gaze, as well. Weird, how you could pick up on that kind of stuff, even as a ghost. "Yusuke, I don't believe you fully understand the gravity of what we're asking you, here."

"Sure I do," he said, looking back. "You want me as your personal flag monkey while my body is out of commission. Holding me prisoner against myself. Well, you're just gonna have to find some other dumb sucker," he thrust a thumb at his chest, "because I ain't doin' it!"

"Yusuke, there _is_ no one else."

"Sure there is," he said. "Just give the secret weapon or whatever it is to someone else."

Botan made an exasperated noise. "Yusuke, we can't!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because the new body I mentioned _is_ the weapon," replied Koenma, calmly.

Yusuke stopped. "… Oh."

The prince smirked beneath his mask. "Interested yet?"

Yusuke thought about it. "You still haven't said why it's gotta be ME. Just give the body to some fed flunkie that's good at taking orders. I'd just cause you more trouble than I'd be worth, believe me."

"We can't Yusuke!" shouted Botan, "The procedures necessary to connect the subject to the android are too traumatic to be used on a waking individual. We can only redirect the consciousness of a comatose patient because we can be sure that he or she won't have any conflicting messages to his brain, with two sets of arms and legs, attached to two different bodies. You are already completely and safely disconnected from your body, so your mind is free to take ownership of a new-"

"Look," said Yusuke, frankly, "I don't care. I'm sorry. I'm not gonna turn myself into some super-weapon for you two wing-nuts just 'cause I got nothin' better to do. Excuse me for not finding the prospect of an indefinite period as an obedient slave particularly appealing."

"The alternative," Koenma said, "is leaving in your own body. You will have no perceptions, no movement, no input from the outside world. At all."

The boy shrugged. "I've always been a loner, to tell the truth."

"Yusuke, please," Botan pleaded, "Being a lone wolf is all well and good, but you might be in there for an eternity!"

"Ah ha!" he shouted, tapping his nose knowingly, "See, you already said my body was gonna be revived, right? But you can't pull people out of comas, they just have to wake up on their own. Which means I'm gonna snap out of this coma at some point or another. All I gotta do is wait."

His captors remained silent.

"… Right? I mean, that is the idea, yes?"

Botan carefully shook her head.

Koenma cleared his throat. "I think you may have misunderstood. I said your body would be revived. I did not say it would revive itself. It won't, in point of fact."

Yusuke felt his stomach drop. "… You mean… I'm stuck like this?"

"I'm afraid so, yes."

Yusuke struggled for words. "… But… But you said I'd be revived. That's impossible, no one can snap you out of a coma, that's the whole point!"

Koenma cocked his head thoughtfully. "Well… perhaps not. A couple of recent discoveries in the rather narrow field of bioelectronics have hinted at some procedures that could very easily revive a comatose brain. We're looking into them now, actually, and the results so far have been quite promising. Two, perhaps three months, and we should be ready to make our first attempt at waking you up."

"Three _months_?"

"Normally it would take years," Koenma added, "But I'm speeding them along."

"And… And you don't even know if it will work? What the hell?"

The prince finally seemed to be losing his patience. "Look, if it weren't for you, and believe me, it is just for you, I wouldn't be wasting valuable time, money, and manpower researching this damned process at all! There is a list on my desk that is taller than me consisting entirely of funding requests from an enormous number of other projects, most of which are far more worthwhile than this one! But because I am so very desperate to have you on board, and because I am a man of my word, I am denying them all what precious little money we do have so that I may find a way to bring you back to life with all possible speed! Do you get it now? Do you understand how important this is? Because if you don't, I can shut down the project right now and send you back into that damned thick skull of yours for the rest of eternity. How does that sound to you?"

Yusuke glanced at Botan, who was staring at the floor. She glanced up at Yusuke and shrugged apologetically before looking back down.

He looked back up at the rather-frustrated countenance of a twenty-four year-old infant. "… Five minutes," he said, carefully, "Give me five minutes to think about it, then I'll give you a straight answer."

Koenma sighed, and nodded. "You have your five minutes. Think hard. Botan?"

The girl nodded, and pressed a button on her invisible control panel.

Both of them vanished, without a sound.

Yusuke looked down. At least, he thought he did. He couldn't tell, because his ghostly form was gone, and the blackness offered no landmarks to base his movement on.

He sighed to himself. So. This was his head, huh? Nothing but black, formless void in all directions. He snorted, thinking that this would not have surprised many of his teachers. Or his mother, for that matter.

At once, the images came to his mind. His mother, bedraggled and sullen, dragging him out of bed every morning. His teachers, of varying shapes, all managing with different voices to achieve the same droning quality of the experienced lecturer.

Unexpectedly, he felt a pang of loss. He'd never see them again, stuck in here like this. The figures of authority he'd wantonly disobeyed all his life were now dead to him forever. Or rather, he was dead to them. He'd never fall asleep in class, or wake up to the harsh and violent greetings of his mother. He'd never hear her berating him about homework, ordering him out to the store, or complaining bitterly about making him his stupid lunch every single morning-

He paused, image of a heavy, metal box frozen in his mind. Every morning. She'd packed him a full lunch every single morning. The conundrum had never occurred to him before, that the house was perpetually emptied of food, yet his lunchbox was full every single day.

His thoughts drifted to Keiko, of her big, round eyes glaring at him as he sauntered down the walk, with just a bare few seconds remaining before the late bell rung. He smirked to himself. Well, there's someone whose life would be easier without him. Her whole outlook should improve by leaps and bounds after this.

Then he thought of the rooftop, where he'd go to eat his fully-packed lunch every day. And she was there, too, every single day, she never took a day off, even if she was sick. And she always came up to sit with him. And they'd talk, or rather, he'd talk, and she'd criticize and shake her head despairingly. But however disappointed she was in him, she would always come back the next day, and the day after. Every other kid at school went to the cafeteria, sat at the long, uniform tables, and surrounded themselves with friends as they ate. Yusuke wondered if Keiko, the smartest kid in the school, actually had any friends at all.

He thought of Kuwabara, with his flagrant orange hair. He thought of him running into scum from all over the city that had heard about his probation, showing up to see if it was true. He thought about Kuwabara folding his arms and staring the kid down all the way until their incoming foot caught him between the legs. He chuckled and shook his head, or at least thought to. The things that kid would do for his honor. For his "boys," who would see the inside of a jail cell if he so much as threw a single sucker punch at one of those assholes. And to top it all off, once they'd finished kicking his ass out through his ears, they could just saunter in and take whatever they felt like. Kuwabara's turf was now free-range to all the punks that could stake a claim on it.

That sinks it.

He stood up, metaphorically. Someone had to go teach those bums a lesson. Maybe the whole 'honor code' thing was a bit ridiculous, but for God's sake, you don't just run up and _kick_ a guy just because he can't kick you back. That's just messed up. Heck, it might be worth three months taking orders, if he could just get one day off to go and hunt down some of those punks…

He called out into the darkness. "Hey, Koenma!"

There was no response.

"… Koenma? Prince Koenma?"

Still nothing.

"Sir? Your Highness? Your Lowness, perhaps? Your Royal Shortness?"

Silence.

He laughed nervously. "Come on man, this isn't funny, where are you? Botan? You out there? Lemme se your pretty blue hair again, baby-doll!"

He paused. Had it not been five minutes yet? How long had it been? How did you determine 'time' in a place like this?

"Guys? Hello?"

He waited a few seconds. A few minutes. A few hours. Dear god, surely it had been five minutes already?

The darkness remained uniform, unblemished and impenetrable. It smothered him with its oppressive weight.

If he could only move. Stretch. Twitch spastically, even. Something, anything to break up the feeling of being trapped in this ceaseless, never-ending blackness, anything would do.

He concentrated, straining and struggling mentally, but there was nothing. No twitch of motion or anything. He was formless, an ambiguous entity in a sea of darkness.

And he was all alone.

Completely.

Utterly.

Alo-

"Done thinking yet?"

"GYAHH!"

The forms of Koenma and Botan leaned back slightly. "Take it easy, Yusuke," said Botan, carefully.

"Good grief, don't do that! Warn me first! And what the hell was that? What took you so goddamn long? My God!"

Koenma fixed him with a measured expression. "Yusuke, it's been exactly five minutes. You did ask for five minutes, yes?"

Yusuke looked at him long and hard. "You're joking."

The giant head shook gently. "I'm not. Five minutes, no longer."

"You are lying to me."

"Thought is faster than speech, Yusuke," said Botan, "so the passage of time may feel somewhat… distorted in there. Five minutes could very easily seem like five hours. Or five years."

Yusuke began to think about what eternity might feel like in there. He quickly decided to think of something else.

"So," Koenma said, "have you come to a decision?"

Yusuke nodded. "First off, if I agree, do you understand that my serious attitude problems aren't just going to up and vanish 'cause I'm suddenly working for the baby in the silly hat? If you hire me, you're getting' the whole asshole, not just the bits you like, got it?"

Botan looked annoyed, but he could swear the baby was smiling. "Understood."

Yusuke took a deep breath. "Alright, two conditions I gotta lay out first. Two rules."

The prince nodded. "Let's hear them."

"First, once I'm up and about, I gotta pay a few visits alright? There's a few people I'd like to see, let them know I'm still sort of alive," and a few scores I'd like to settle, he thought, imagining the spineless twerps who were even now pounding Kuwabara into honorable hamburger.

"Hm," murmured Koenma, "That could be a bit tricky. I'd rather keep public knowledge of you, or rather your new body, to a minimum, if possible."

"That's fine," said Yusuke, "but if I see one of my… friends," the term felt weird on his tongue, "while I'm out on a job, I'm gonna go talk to them for a minute. Promise I won't jeopardize anything by it, but it's what I've gotta do."

Koenma regarded him for a moment. "We'll work that out when we come to it," he said eventually, "but I can promise you that, if nothing else, word of your living status will reach the people you want it to. I give you my word."

Yusuke nodded. "Thanks."

Koenma nodded as well. "What was the other condition?"

Yusuke raised a finger. "That I never. Ever," he pointed the finger behind him, into the blackness, "Have to go back there. Into my dead body. My dead head. My brain. Whatever. Just don't ever put me back there ever again."

Koenma sighed. "I can't promise that it won't happen. For one, you'll need to be back there for a moment while we prep your new body for the psyche transfer. For another, if something happens, and that body is destroyed, you'll end up back here again. It's the safest way."

Yusuke pondered this. "And the chances of that happening are…?"

Botan smiled brightly. "Slim to none, thankfully. Your new body is truly unique. As far as we know, no technology yet invented can match it in power and adaptability. So you're quite well prepared to face the world."

Koenma looked away. "Even so, there is a chance…"

Botan's smile faltered. "Yes, there is still a chance…"

Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "So basically, for both of my absolute, bottom-line conditions, you've answered, 'Maybe?'"

Koenma nodded. "Welcome to government work."

Yusuke couldn't help but laugh, and even Botan chuckled a little. "Nice," said Yusuke, "Alright, I guess I'm in, then."

Botan clapped her hands. "Excellent!"

Koenma nodded firmly. "Good. Very glad to hear it."

Yusuke bowed. "Thanks. So, what happens now?"

Botan tapped excitedly at her keypad as Koenma spoke. "Now, I believe it's time we got this show on the road…"


	4. All Systems Go

Hey guys! Hope I still have a few of you with me. :) I just started college at Towson University, so life has been a little hectic for me, but after a long, trying day, I've found that a little creative writing relaxes me like nothing else does. So that's good news for you all.

So, I know this is just supposed to be a "re-imagining" of the series we all know and love, and that really, this scene takes a LOT of liberties with character interpretations. (Namely, Botan) But, the way I've created the universe, and the way I've set up things, this scene sorta had to happen. I mean, you can't just throw a cyborg out there on his own and expect him to do well, you have to give him an idea of what he can DO first. So yeah, this scene technically has nothing to do with the original series, but I swear, next scene will be RIGHT back on track, and then I have some fantastic ideas all the way up through the Four Saint Beasts saga, so there's a lot of good stuff coming.

As always, shout out to my best friends ever, kitsunexShi and EminaKotek-nightmare! You guys are the most fantastic individuals ever, and I love you both more than I can possibly say. For the rest of you, (love you, too ;) ) I take a lot of my writing inspiration from them, so if you like what you see here, you can go check out both of their pages. They do a lot of Yu Yu Hakusho and HunterxHunter fanfics that are really quite good, and I would reccomend them to anyone, regardless of your familiarity with either series.

That's all. Reviews always appreciated, even bad ones. I know it's cliche', but I really do love hearing people tell me how to improve. I'm hoping to become a writer somewhere down the road, so I'm quite desperate for feedback, in any form. So please, leave me your thoughts! I'll even respond to you if you do. :)

ENjoy!

* * *

><p>"… Hello?"<p>

The darkness remained unresponsive.

Yusuke thought about grinding his teeth nervously.

_It's okay_, he told himself, _It's alright, you're gonna be fine_.

The void continued to loom before him.

Damn that Koenma… Not ten minutes ago, he'd asked him to never send him back here, and now where was he? Stuck, trapped inside his immobile, lifeless, comatose skull.

Had it been ten minutes ago? Was there any way to know? Yusuke could have sworn he'd been in here for at least an hour, but Koenma had promised it'd be for only a few minutes. Just had to make some final preparations, steady the connection, prepare his mind for the psyche transfer. A few minutes, he'd said. Well, it had been a few minutes, Yusuke would have bet his life on it. Granted, he didn't really have a life to bet, anymore.

Where the hell were they-?

Yusuke was dimly aware of a harsh crackling noise. The fact of an actual _sensation_ in this limbo was almost enough to scare Yusuke out of his metaphorical skin, but before he could even scream, there was a blinding flash of light.

He waited a moment, to see if anything else would happen. Nothing did. _Now_ he could scream.

"YEARGH!"

It wasn't the most impressive noise in the world, but it served its purpose.

The light was still there, shining bright and wild against his eyes. There was something wrong with it, something… strange. He tried to turn away from it, but he couldn't, something was holding his head in place.

Presently, an outline blotted out much of the harsh light. "Goodmorning, Yusuke!" said the shape.

"Botan?" he called out, "Is that you?"

His voice was odd, too. There was a tinny quality to it, a sort of mechanical buzz similar to what had accompanied Koenma's voice earlier.

The silhouette nodded, long hair bouncing excitedly. "Yes it is! How are you feeling?"

"Second time you've asked me that question…" he muttered.

"And it's just as important this time," proclaimed Koenma's voice, from somewhere else. "So we'll ask it again. How _are_ you, Yusuke Urimeshi?"

Yusuke considered this. The first thing he noticed were his arms and legs, and he almost sagged in relief. Life as a formless entity was not for him. It was good to be able to just lie here and know, without looking down, that your body was still there.

"Pretty good, actually," he decided, "I can actually _feel_ my body now. Anyone ever tell you how weird it is to just… not know where your arms and legs are?"

"Can't say that they have," Botan replied, "But that's good to know. So your limbs seem to be responding properly?"

"Yeah," Yusuke said, flexing them experimentally, testing the bonds that held them down, "They feel a little weird, sort of strange, but I figured that's 'cause it's a new body and all, and I'll get used to that-"

As he relaxed, his left elbow hit the table with a metallic clank.

Yusuke froze.

Botan did not appear to notice. "That's to be expected, of course. The body normally has years to build up certain neural pathways that allow it to become familiar with its own-"

"Wait, wait, wait," Yusuke cut her off, "'Clank?'"

Botan paused. "I beg your pardon?"

Yusuke twisted, lifting his left elbow and tapping it against the table. "Hear that? It goes 'clank." Why's my elbow going 'clank?'"

Botan waved his question off. "Oh, that, that's just the armor plating, don't worry about-"

"Armor plating? I'm _armor plated?_ What the hell did you do to me? And why is it so goddamn bright in-"

Then he noticed something else.

He couldn't blink.

The thought hit him like a bucket of ice water.

He couldn't _blink_.

It wasn't something he'd ever given much thought to before. Blinking was such an automatic thing. Your body did it unconsciously, if you weren't paying attention. It wasn't something you had to worry about, kind of like breathing-

Nope. He wasn't breathing, either. His lungs were not filling up with air. His mouth wasn't opening-

Good grief, his _mouth_, too? He didn't even have a _mouth_?

"Yusuke?" he dimly heard Koenma calling him, "Yusuke, are you alright?"

He tried to wiggle his nose. Nope, that wasn't there either. He couldn't feel himself breathing faster, harder, he couldn't feel his heart hammering in his chest, heck he couldn't even feel his heartbeat at _all_!

"Yusuke?"

"… Nnnnnn…" came his strangled reply.

His arms and legs began to pull at their shackles, straining and fighting to free themselves. His thoughts grew fuzzier as pure, unfiltered panic started to ooze through his brain, a sort of primal, instinctive fear of being trapped and helpless and unable to escape-

"Yusuke!" Botan's outline vanished, and the harsh, hated light streamed in unabated, burning into his eyeballs as Yusuke desperately tried to shut the eyelids he didn't have.

"YAAAAAAAAAH!" he screamed, for the second time in as many minutes.

There was a shriek of tearing metal as his hands finally came free, flying up to his head. His fingers found the smooth metal ring around his forehead, grasped it, and pulled. His abdomen strained, trying to force his head upwards through the restraining bar.

"Yusuke, please, you have to calm down-"

There was another earsplitting shriek, and Yusuke's body snapped upwards, pulling the destroyed steel with it. The light passed over his head as he swung forwards, and he felt his hands covering his eyes seemingly of their own accord, and the world around him was suddenly plunged into darkness.

He sat there for a moment. It was okay, he told himself. This wasn't limbo, this wasn't the void. He could still feel his arms and legs and things, strange though they might be. He was here. He was awake. He was alive. That was what mattered.

He realized that he was making rapid breathing noises, purely to calm himself down. With an effort, he stopped. He wasn't breathing, he knew that. But that was okay. It was weird, but it was okay. He was okay. He couldn't blink, either, but that was okay, too. He could just sit here for the rest of forever with his hands over his eyes, and everything would be all good…

He noticed he could still see something. There was a dim blue glow across the palms of his hands. Something on his face was glowing, producing the light his eyes were seeing. It took him a moment to realize that it was the eyes themselves that were glowing.

He slowly uncovered his face.

As most people do upon waking up in a strange place, he examined his hands first.

Metal. Interlocking sheets of gray steel slid over each other as he flexed his large, bulky fingers. The joints in particular stood out, big, thick things that looked like they'd been reinforced redundantly. His right index finger stood out from the others, a mess of odd, angular plates and extra parts, slightly stiffer than the other fingers. His gaze traveled to his arms.

Metal. Big, heavy plates of it, layered over each other like a strange, cylindrical house of cards. They elbow and wrist joints were thick and bulky, like the fingers, with what appeared to be miniature suspension systems and shock absorbers peeking out from beneath the rounded strips of steel. He looked from them to his stomach.

Metal. The whole thing. His whole torso was comprised of thick, overlapping sheets of metal, locked together like continents. He prodded them firmly. There was almost no give to them: solid as steel. He looked at his legs, still clamped to the table.

Metal. They looked slightly more solid than his arms, more heavily reinforced, but that made sense. His feet looked like they'd been segmented, and they flexed in weird and unusual ways. They folded lengthwise and widthwise, to a degree, and the toes were fused together, flexing as a single unit.

Yusuke looked up at Botan, blankly.

She looked concerned. "I'm sorry, Yusuke… we were hoping we'd be able to sort of… ease you into this whole thing. There are a hundred factors involved in a synthetic body that the brain can't immediately adjust for-"

"Actually, it's more appropriate to say that there are a hundred factors of the natural body that the synthetic body cannot accommodate."

Yusuke turned towards the voice. No one was there.

"Am I correct, Yusuke?"

Yusuke looked around wildly. The voice seemed to be emanating from the empty air.

A tiny head rose into his field of vision, about three feet in front of him.

For the third time, Yusuke screamed, flailing backwards instinctively. His legs remained trapped, however, unbalancing him and sending his top half toppling over the edge of the table.

He found himself staring awkwardly at Botan's knees, barely visible beneath her long pink coat.

"One moment, Yusuke," Botan's voice contained the traces of a giggle as her knees turned and strode out of his sight. He felt something working near his ankles, and then his feet came free, dropping him neatly on his head with a loud bang.

It seemed like a bit too long before the rest of Yusuke's body tumbled down after him.

The entire room shook as he hit the floor, setting the various machinery and equipment into a rattling cacophony for a few moments.

Yusuke looked up at the two figures over him. He couldn't help but stare at the one.

Koenma shrugged apologetically. "I'm sorry. My appearance in person is always somewhat more startling than most people are prepared for."

The prince sat in what appeared to be a floating easy chair. Yusuke could see up into its inner mechanical workings as he lay beneath it; various mechanical things whirred away buisily, and a large circle across the entire underside pulsed rhythmically with a dull, orange glow.

But the prince himself was far stranger than any chair could ever be.

He was, in fact, an infant. His body could not have been any older than a few months, although at the same time, it was also much, _much_ older than a few months. His skin was worn and wrinkled in places where a child of his size should have been smooth and plump. His hands were too thin and dexterous to belong to a baby, but his face seemed perfectly plump and smooth, except for the eyes. The eyes seemed too sunken in, and radiated all the world-weariness of an old, experienced ruler, with distinctive crow's feet peeling away from the corners. The mechanical 'pacifier' sat over his nose and mouth like a gigantic, angular parasite.

Yusuke found himself grateful for the large, unseemly hat the child wore. He hated to think what a full-sized brain _looked_ like on the back of a head that small.

He shook his head, in wonder. It scraped metallically against the floor beneath him. "Man, you really are tiny, aren't you?"

Koenma cocked his head. "Sure, by normal standards, but perfectly normal for a four month-old infant. Slightly bigger than normal, in fact. I did tell you I was two foot-seven, yes?

"No way," said Yusuke instantly, "You've gotta be shorter than two. Come on, my fist is bigger than your whole head, even _with_ the silly hat!"

Koenma exchanged a glance with Botan. "I think," he said, carefully, "that it might help if you stood up."

Yusuke tried to raise an eyebrow, then added that to the mental list of actions that were now impossible for him. Instead, he rolled over, creating a thunder of metallic bangs as various parts of him struck the floor, before he braced his arms beneath him and pushed himself up.

"There," he said, "See? I'm only a touch taller than Botan, and you're still-"

"Try standing _all_ the way up, Yusuke."

It dawned on Yusuke that he was still kneeling on the ground.

Very slowly, he stood up.

His foot thudded heavily against the floor.

"… Woah…" he murmured.

His two companions looked up at him. "You see the difference, now?" Koenma asked.

"Yeah… Yeah I do…" he looked down at the ground, which was some distance farther away than he was used to, "How tall am I?"

"Seven feet, eight inches," responded Botan, promptly, "Weight is eight-hundred and twenty-three pounds."

"Wow, really?" he looked at his stomach, "I don't look that fat…"

"It's the armor plating, mostly," assured Koenma, "That and the reactor core. They're both pretty high-density, but well-worth the added weight."

"Here," said Botan, stepping around the table, "Come take a look."

She turned a large mirror around to face him, angling it upwards so that he could take in his full appearance.

He looked… big. His broad shoulders were rivaled only by the thickness of his arms and legs. There was a definite taper to the chest, and even a few shadows of muscles worked into the metal plates.

"Hey," he said, flexing his arms, "I look pretty good!"

Botan giggled. "We're very glad to hear it."

He twisted his neck, watching the mechanical muscles flex and stretch beneath his chiseled jaw. The face was a little odd: there was no mouth, and nothing more than a ridged bump where the nose should be. The eyes were large, angular blue beacons that glowed with an unearthly blue light beneath a sharp brow line that gave him a permanently-angry expression.

His eyes traveled farther up.

"Wait, I have _hair_? Why do I have hair? I'm a robot!"

Botan giggled again, but this time it was Koenma who answered, floating around to face him on his hover-chair. "Our primary concern with this project has been easing the strain on the subject's mind in any way we can, which, as your immediate reaction proved, is rather an important matter to address," he gestured to Yusuke's head, "One of the researchers suggested we fabricate a desired hairstyle, to give the body a more personal touch. It doesn't add much weight, doesn't take a lot of time, and at worst, it simply adds a further layer of armor to the head," he raised a tiny eyebrow, "In your case, it might even be used as an offensive weapon."

Yusuke reached up and gingerly plucked one of the curved points of steel jutting out from his cranium. Thing was, he didn't _have_ a hairstyle… "You've sculpted my permanent bedhead?"

Koenma shrugged, "we had to do some research on your background to find out who you were, if only for the police records. You were an anonymous corpse in the street, so we had to resort to photo identification. And your hair has remained fairly consistent for the past few years, as far as we could tell. We did our best."

"Do you like it?" asked Botan.

Yusuke looked it over. His head looked like a mutated, armored blowfish in the process of exploding. Random points jutted out at odd, curved angles, which could, in the right light, be seen as hair being pressed against a pillow while he slept.

But it worked. He could look at himself in the mirror and tell that it was _him_ looking back.

"Yeah," he decided, "It's good."

He turned to face his companions. "So, what now?"

Koenma clapped his small hands together. "First thing's first: we're going to put you through a few basic tests and exercises to ensure that everything's working properly, and to get you used to your new body. Botan will show you to the simulation hall while I take up my position in the control room." The tiny chair swiveled in midair and scooted off.

"If you would just follow me," said Botan, turning in the other direction, "It's just down the hall."

Yusuke jogged around the table to catch up with her.

Thunder roared through the room with every step, various instruments and machines rumbling and rattling as though the apocalypse was drawing near.

Botan herself staggered a little. "Yusuke, please! You weigh considerably more than you used to! Try to step lightly until we're in the training chamber."

Yusuke looked down at his feet, whose rough landings had left almost imperceptible divots in the tiled floor. He normally weighed in at a lean one-sixty, and was used to being light on his feet. He tested his weight on each leg, experimentally. He still _felt_ light, was the weird thing. The body moved and responded instantaneously, with no signs or feelings of strain. The world was just suddenly a lot more fragile.

He continued almost on tiptoe, stepping as easily as he could after Botan. She led him out of the lab and down a short stretch of hallway before ushering him through another door.

Yusuke ducked under the doorway and looked around. "Woah…"

The room he'd entered was huge. There was no other way to describe it. He was standing inside the edge of an enormous, metallic cube. Unidentifiable devices stuck out from the stretches of teal wall at random intervals, and glowing cables ran back and forth between them, giving the place the look of a big, steel beehive.

Big, of course, meaning 'several hundred feet long in any direction.'

Botan smirked up at him. "Impressive?"

Yusuke nodded. "What _is_ this place?"

"Exactly as advertised, this is the Simulation Hall. It's where our more... dramatic prototype technologies go to be put through field tests. When it all works on paper, we bring it here to see if it all works in practice."

"Nice," Yusuke muttered, still gawking at the immensity of the room. "And what if it doesn't?"

Botan shrugged. "It gets sent back to the lab for redesign. A fairly common event, in the scientific world."

"So… If I fail whatever it is you're going to put me through, what happens?"

The she laughed brightly, "Oh, believe me, we've already tested the body. We won't give you anything you can't handle."

"Not yet, at least," came Koenma's voice, ringing across the room.

"GYAAH!" shouted Yusuke, jumping involuntarily, "Stop doing that!"

"Forgive me," boomed the Prince, without conviction.

"Are we ready, Your Highness?" chimed Botan.

"Indeed we are, Botan!" he responded.

"Wait," said Yusuke, "If you've tested the body already, then what the heck are we doing?"

"Testing _you_," replied Botan. "We know how the body _should_ work, after testing it with an artificial intelligence program. Now we need to see if you can put out a similar performance."

"These are going to be fairly standard benchmark tests, for the most part," Koenma added. "Nothing too extreme until you've grown more accustomed to the body."

"Man," Yusuke muttered, "I _hate_ standardized testing…"

"You may be surprised," said Botan, winking. "What's our first test, sir?"

"Running," the Prince replied.

"Running?" Yusuke looked to Botan, "What kind of a test is that?"

"A vital one," she answered promptly.

"It's not a question of you being _able_ to run," Koenma explained, "It's more a question of how _well_ you can run. Now, you see the track along the edge of the room?"

Yusuke looked down. Beneath his feet, the ground was slightly rough, and a few lightly-marked lines seemed to be serving as lane markings. "Yeah, I see it."

"Start running."

Yusuke rolled his eyes, successfully, much to his surprise. "Alright, whatever."

He started along the track at a light jog, bouncing on the balls of his feet to keep his steps as light as possible.

Koenma's voice came over the speakers again. "Yusuke, this hall was built to test small artillery vehicles, among other things. It can handle your weight."

Yusuke tentatively dropped into a more comfortable stride, letting his feet hit the ground more solidly. This time, the earth didn't quake beneath him at every step. He started to push a little harder.

As he jogged past Botan, he heard her shout, "Come on, Yusuke, stop tiptoeing, step it up!"

He shot her a glare and sped up. His footsteps created a thundering rhythm as they slammed into the floor, propelling him forward.

It struck him that he wasn't getting tired. He wasn't breathing hard, his muscles weren't burning, he was just… running. It felt good, to be able to push this hard, to move this fast, without even breaking a sweat. Not that he _could _sweat, of course. Or breathe hard.

He heard Koenma's amplified voice again, "Faster, Yusuke, why are you holding back? Run!"

Yusuke snarled and pushed even harder. Suddenly, there it was: a dull, burning sensation in his arms and legs that grew steadily as he pushed himself even harder. He could feel his limbs complaining at the strain he was putting on them, but how? It wasn't like they were actual muscle, so why did they feel tired?

His footsteps were nearly blending together as they rang out across the room, like gunfire in an empty cavern. The walls streaked past as her turned each corner faster, and faster, and faster…

Finally, he felt his foot slip out from under him.

There was a tremendous bang as he slammed into the wall and rebounded across the floor, rolling to a stop near the center of the room.

After a few moments, the room stopped whirling around him, and Botan's face appeared, hovering over him.

"… Ow…?" He managed.

Botan smirked down at him. "Oh come now, you're alright. You only got up to.. what was it, sir?"

"Almost sixty miles per hour," crackled Koenma over the speakers.

" No, no, no," Yusuke said, pushing himself to his feet, "I mean that hurt. Why did that hurt? I'm a robot, aren't I? So why do I feel… tired?"

Botan smacked his shoulder playfully, "You'll feel better in a second, suck it up."

"Pain exists for a reason, Yusuke," Koenma explained, "It tells you when your body is experiencing dangerous physical stress. It keeps you from hurting or injuring yourself excessively. So we've done our best to apply the same principles to your mechanical form as well."

Yusuke rubbed his shoulder where he'd struck the wall, but the pain was already fading away. "Yeah, but can I, like, turn it off sometimes? Surely there are times when pain is redundant, and you KNOW you're in danger of hurting yourself."

"Redundancies are part of the plan, Yusuke," Koenma replied, grimly, "Any factors that might keep you from hurting yourself, or damaging that atrociously expensive body, are going to be included, and the more redundancy, the better."

Yusuke sighed, "Yeah, yeah, alright…"

"… Aren't you even the least bit concerned with the fact that you just reached sixty miles an hour on _foot_?" muttered Botan.

He shrugged, "I mean yeah, that's cool, but it was weirder that I was feeling pain in an artificial body. I was more concerned with why I hurt than what I was actually doing."

"Well, let's see if we can't impress you a little further," said Koenma. "If you could go stand on the reinforced pad at the center of the room, then we'll move on to the carriage capacity test."

"Carraige capacity?" he asked, making his way to the appointed position.

"Quite simply, how much you can carry." replied Koenma.

There was a deep rumble, and Yusuke looked up to find what appeared to be a large section of the ceiling descending down on him.

"Woah, woah, woah!" he took an automatic step backwards, "How much weight are you about to drop on my head?"

"Only as much as you can carry," came the calm reply, "We can increase or decrease the force holding up these weights by increments, so we can push you as much as we want to without worrying about exceeding your limits."

The vast, metallic expanse fell slowly lower and lower. Yusuke looked up at it apprehensively. "So what am I supposed to do?"

"Carry it."

Almost before he was ready, the enormous weight was on him. Yusuke yelped and scrambled around, jostling into a better position as the steel dropped lower. He braced his palms against it and heaved with his legs.

To his surprise, the encroaching ceiling halted above him.

Yusuke straightened up, pressing upward. His ceiling rose with him.

"Wow…" he muttered, testing the weight, "That _is_ pretty neat… how much does it weigh?"

"At the moment? About three-hundred pounds."

Yusuke chuckled, "Not too shabby. Don't know a lot of guys who could lift that without trying."

"That's the lowest setting."

Yusuke froze. "Pardon?"

Abruptly, the weight bore downwards again, with renewed vigor. Yusuke grunted in surprise, resetting his grip and pushing the vast surface upwards again.

"That's about six-hundred pounds, now," came Koenma's mechanical voice. "How does it feel?"

"Pretty good," muttered Yusuke, with a touch of surprise. The unexpected change in weight was surprising, sure, but he was still holding it up with ease.

"Let's try nine-hundred pounds, now."

Yusuke felt a small jolt, like someone had just sat on the block above his head. It shudder slightly, but stayed up.

"Twelve-hundred pounds."

Yusuke grunted. Okay, now it was taking a bit of concentration…

"Fifteen-hundred pounds."

"Eighteen-hundred pounds."

"Twenty-one-hundred pounds."

A few minutes later, Yusuke was almost bent double, growling with the strain. He could hear the floor groaning beneath him, and his own body creaked complained at each tiny motion. The burning in his muscles was holding steady at a nearly-agonizing level.

When the box on his back was finally lifted, Yusuke staggered for a moment before falling to one knee.

"Congratulations, Yusuke," came Koenma's voice, a little smugly, "You just lifted nearly two and a half tons of dead weight."

"Thanks…" he replied, a little weakly. Artificial or not, this "simulated exhaustion" was pretty effective.

"Don't worry, Yusuke, you'll feel better in a moment. We were able to reduce the duration of pain, at least, to keep it from debilitating you too much."

Yusuke cocked his head, thinking. "Hey… if pain indicates damage, then aren't I taking damage? Like, little bits of damage?"

"Sort of," came Botan's voice, approaching Yusuke's crouched form, "But your internal structure relies heavily on biological elements, and what isn't biological is almost entirely organic. So it is possible for you to 'heal' from every-day wear and tear, or from lifting an immensely heavy load."

"Ah," Yusuke said, turning to face her, "So I'm sort of-" He stopped. "Uh, Botan? What are you wearing?"

The slight girl in front of him had discarded her garish trenchcoat, revealing a skintight crimson suit that seemed to fade to black with the slightest shadow. It had a very functional look to it, with a variety of convenient pockets and a conservative utility belt. But on top of it were a pair of monstrous mechanical gloves that Botan was busily fastening on with her teeth. They were exceedingly-complicated things, with bulcky joints in the fingers and extra bracing that ran all the way up her arms to her shoulders, like steel spiderwebs.

Koenma answered for her. "Your next test will be a simple combat situation, to get you more used to your new body in a live scenario. These boots and gloves will give our dear Botan a bit more of a 'fighting chance' against you," there was a small, mechanical chuckle following the last statement.

Yusuke glanced down. Indeed, there were humongous metal boots encasing Botan's petite feet, with similar bracing running up to her thighs. "A _combat_ scenario? Against _her_?!"

"Indeed. Don't mistake her gender for weakness: She's quite an accomplished combatant, both in training and in the field."

Botan nodded her head, her ponytail bouncing up and down enthusiastically.

"I… That's not… She…" Yusuke whirled around, eyes searching for the source of the Prince's voice, "You want me to _fight_ her?"

"She is my top agent, Yusuke."

"She's five feet tall!"

"Five-foot-four, actually…" Botan chimed in.

"Whatever, I'm still a seven-foot super-weapon, right? I mean come on, how fair is this?"

"Yusuke, her code name is 'The Reaper.' Half the city believes that she doesn't really exist. There's a good reason for that."

Botan nodded, her ponytail bobbing enthusiastically before she slipped on a sleek black helmet, disappearing behind its thick visor.

Yusuke stared at his reflection in her visor, looking into his own glowing, blue eyes. He looked like some huge, cinematic monster, towering over this frail damsel… who was wearing souped-up boots and gloves, and was looking just as confident as he was…

He shook his head. So it wasn't a perfect metaphor, but who cares?

"Alright, let's get this over with," he muttered, starting forward, "Comin' at ya, sweet-cheeks!"

Yusuke flew towards her, reaching her in just a few long strides. He drew back and threw a brutal right cross at her-

He missed. The small girl ducked his blow with an easy grace, catching him as he came and flipping him easily over her head. All eight-hundred pounds of him slammed roughly into the floor and bounced several yards before he could manage to stop himself.

"Lucky shot," he muttered, pushing himself up, "Still getting used to the height and the reach and stuff…"

"I'm sure you are," said Koenma, "This is where you work out things like that. On your feet."

Yusuke stood up and started forward, slower this time. He stepped carefully, measuring out his spacing while Botan eyed him. When he thought he had it correct, he threw a feint and then a real jab with his right hand.

The small girl caught his hand in her enormous, mechanical gloves and twisted hard. Yusuke felt himself being flung forward, just as a steel fist rose up to meet him.

He tumbled backwards haphazardly, flopping to the floor and clutching at the bridge of his nonexistent nose. After a moment, he voiced his thoughts.

"Pain…"

"Yes, I know," came Koenma's voice, "We've already discussed-"

"No, like actual pain! Not like muscle ache, actual, serious pain! _Why_?"

"Yusuke, we've been over this-"

"I _know_ I'm taking damage, it's a freaking punch in the face! Why does it have to hurt?"

"Just to remind you to be careful," Koenma's voice was cool, "Perhaps you might learn to avoid damage if the damage itself is unpleasant. And this is nothing, you're barely even scratched, you just aren't used to it yet."

Yusuke looked up, "What, it gets worse?"

"Coming at you, 'sweet cheeks!'" Botan's clipped voice rang out across the room.

He barely had time to move before a boot connected with his mechanical ribs. Yusuke rolled across the floor yet again, struggling to regain his balance as Botan leapt after him, raining blows down like hail.

He swiped at her in frustration, but missed the mark entirely and was rewarded by a crack across the jaw. He threw a kick, but got only a boot to the groin for his effort. As Yusuke staggered back from the blow, he suddenly felt a great deal of gratitude for the limits on his "pain simulators."

Every shot he took, he missed. Every blow he threw was countered. Try as he might, he simply couldn't match his opponent's superior skill. He eventually resorted to flailing madly, trying to render himself as unpredictable as possible, and finally succeeded in landing a backhanded blow with the flat of his hand.

He wasn't sure whether he'd struck Botan on the head, shoulder, or ribs, but she was gone too fast for him to tell. There was a tremendous crash, and suddenly she was collapsing limply from where she'd struck the far wall.

"End simulation," the firm authority in Koenma's voice caused Yusuke to stop in his tracks.

"Ha," said Yusuke, turning to where he thought the voice was coming from. "Too easy."

"Yes," Koenma replied, "That's rather the point, I think. Do you see now why this project is so important?"

Yusuke cocked his head, "What do you mean? I figured super-weapons were just generally important in a war."

"Yes, but this is a secret war, a covert conflict. There are no tanks in this war, no cannons or artillery units. This is a war of stealth and subterfuge. Politics and power. Botan has been one of the single most important agents in this war so far, on either side. But you only landed a single blow against her, and you see how well she's fared."

Yusuke turned around and saw Botan on the ground, struggling to rise. As he watched, he arms wobbled, and she collapsed again, weakly.

"Holy crap…" Yusuke muttered, "How hard did I hit her?"

"In excess of several thousand pounds of pressure, I believe," replied Koenma, "If she hadn't been wearing armor, or been in such peak physical condition, you could easily have killed her."

"Ah… I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to kill her…" Yusuke trailed off lamely as he jogged over to help the struggling Botan.

"I know, you were merely following the scenario, and you did a masterful job of that," Koenma conceded, "I simply hope that you understand why we are taking such pains with this. You can bring a level of power to the table the likes of which this war has not yet been capable of, combining the strengths of infantry, cavalry, and artillery into a single, seamless fighting unit-"

"Hang on, now," Yusuke interrupted, lifting Botan to her feet, "How am I an artillery unit? I mean, I can see the infantry and cavalry, but artillery is long-range stuff, right?"

He could swear he heard a smile in the Prince's reply, "Indeed it is, and so do we move on to your final test, if you could approach the center again."

Yusuke moved back to the reinforced circle in the middle of the room. "Now we're talking! What've I got? Rockets? Lasers? An antimatter ray?"

"Erm… No, you're equipped with a miniature ion pulse cannon, actually. It essentially launches a beam of energy towards your-"

"A laser, then," Yusuke began sighting down the length of his arm, anticipating the thrill, "So, how's it work? Gimme the run-down."

A panel at the end of the room slid upwards, revealing a large red-and-yellow target. Yusuke turned to face it as Koenma spoke, "In theory, you should simply have to concentrate to fire. Take your right index finger and point it towards the target in front of you."

Yusuke raised his arm and pointed defiantly at the target. Then he looked down at his finger. "… Are you serious?"

"Indeed," came the chipper reply, "The digit is a bit bulkier than the others, but we've managed to trim it down so that it still functions in a more mundane capacity-"

"That's _it_? My finger? That's my huge artillery weapon?"

Koenma coughed indignantly, "I think you'll find that, in practice, it proves to be quite more-"

"This is silly! It's like I'm five years old!" he waved his finger around wildly, "Ka-bang! Ka-boom! Look at me, guys! I'm a wizard! I have a magic finger that shoots lasers- no, wait, I know! It's like one of those fake guns!" he bent his fingers into the appropriate shape, "It's like I'm a toddler with a finger gun!" he turned and faced the target, staring with comical concentration, "Stand down, criminal scum," he raised his hand, pointing his finger, "Or face the wrath… of my Spirit Gun!"

The target at the end of the room suddenly took on a dull, red glow. Against his will, his arm shifted a fraction of an inch. He had just enough time to register his finger unfolding and expanding into a small tube before the universe exploded in a flash of blue light.

The force of the universe exploding kicked Yusuke back off of his feet and sent him sprawling to the floor. His vision dimmed slightly, and his ears seemed to be ringing, so he assumed he was passing out.

Then his vision returned to normal, and he realized his mechanical eyes were simply compensating for his lack of eyelids. He also realized that the ringing in his ears was laughter.

"You know what? You can both shut up…" he snarled, scrambling to his feet as Koenma's merriment rang out across the room and Botan was nearly bent double.

"I'm terribly sorry, Yusuke," said Koenma, when he could breathe again, "Perhaps I should have warned you with a bit more detail. At any rate, you see why I don't believe you to be inadequately equipped, yes?"

Yusuke glanced back at the target. The smoking blast burn from his shot coated nearly the entirety of its twelve-foot-diameter surface. "Yeah," he said, after a moment, "yeah, I can work with this."

A small hand patted him on the back. "Excellent. How are you feeling?"

He glanced at her. "Again with that question…"

"To be more specific," Koenma said, "do you feel up to a bit of field work? Are you getting more comfortable with your new body?"

Yusuke flexed his joints experimentally. "Yeah, I'm feelin' pretty good. Besides, nothing like a little field work to get a guy good at his job."

Botan smiled, "My thoughts exactly, although perhaps I would have used clearer words."

Yusuke shrugged. "I don't words," he said, glancing back at the scorched target, "I'm invincible."


End file.
